it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Farmville is her only friend.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
