no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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