There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
