I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
