he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
