i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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