Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
