we have officially lost it.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It's rum buckets o'clock
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
