i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
