Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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