I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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