Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
