STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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