i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
