I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
