I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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