wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
His nipple licking is glorious
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