I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I am spending my child support on dildos
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Drunk walkin through police station. America
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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