Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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