is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
