i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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