Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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