North Korea, Best Korea!
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I don't deserve a penis
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
