You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
