After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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