We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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