Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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