I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
So much rum. So many feels.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
