She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
