the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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