Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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