You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
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