We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
