theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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