You just made me feel so damn special
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so let's talk penis.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Still dying that you shit outside
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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