Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
