I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
PANTIES FOUND
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