im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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