So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
