Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
