You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
