The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You're like the curious george of whores
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
