in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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