you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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