So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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