Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
now i know why i became what i already was.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Randomize
