Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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