ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
