I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
