if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
