I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
