Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
