What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
