i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Two words: blizzard sex
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
