I feel great
I just peed on a car
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm at about main and main street
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
